as i ended my semester 3 with review and exams, i get really scared af waitin for result whether i passed or not. i also waiting for college hostel result and been taking muet exams after that.
during my sem break, i've joined an AUTOCAD workshop, apparently autocad is a architectural software so i just want to learn a little bit about that software but i didnt aware that the workshop have to take up some exams.....i just take it and passed with "cukup cukup makan" marks. while the others people get 90+ and some of them get 100. i felt quite sad lah coz i think im quite stupid for this software.
the day after i finished my workshop, i went to school in bentong to take muet speaking test. i messed up the test cause i dont talk or elaborate enough. i feelin freakin terrible and horrible when i get home. my mom and sister kept tease me about the speaking test and urge me to speak more and open my mouth.my feelin been mixed up till here
the day after i take the test, i get the examination result.....to my shockness and terrified I'M FAIL DESIGN SUBJECT I WAS SO SHOCK THAT I STARE AT THE SCREEN UNBELIEVABLE FOR LIKE 3 MINUTES....then my mind imagined a lots of thing like i will doing the same expansive-death-tired-zombie project, being down by people, will graduates late than others. I was so sad that night..dont have mood to do anything,,,, i think my self-esteem is down by 200% that night. im also fail the other one subject which is related to design also. I think im really bad at design and i dont deserve any of this course!!!!!!!
then 5 days later,, i acknowledged that im also fail to get college hostel :(((((((( WHAT I'VE DONE TO DESERVE THIS KIND OF PUNISHMENT!!!!! Y ARE U DOIN THIS TO ME!!! MY LIFE IS SUCK!!! I DONT WANT TO LIVE ANYMORE!!!!!!
but again i know that all my dissapointment will be replaced by something valuable someday if i kept on moving on and not giving up. i know my rezeki is not now but will arrived anytime. i tried to positive myself so that i do not commit suicide hahahahaha just kidding /////becoz i dont have money ptptn is all i have and i got nothing to go anywhere and i have loving family and friends and seniors that support me through all this. thank u again people around me. me love u so many ♡♡♡♡♡♡♡
xoxo,
anis
No comments:
Post a Comment